Christmas 2009

and in the little cottage with the wooden floor, picking flowers from the garden and dancing in aprons. She will sing and play with her mum & grammy in her Sunflower Cottage. How CUTE she will be!

Heaven

I'm in heaven

and the cares
that hung around me
through the week
seem to vanish

Keep Believing

Most people would look at this like just a pile of dirt. I see the "magic" soil for next years flowers & vegetables.  I have spent the past few days researching antique/vintage flowers. To begin with, I'm thinking of having just a few main flowers, and offer numerous varieties within the same species. Like Sunflowers, there are so many different kinds. I have saved seeds from several varieties I planted 2 years ago (2008).  I used the seeds for this years Sunflowers. Now I  have sunflower seeds that are 3rd generation that I will plant next year (2010).

I have saved thousands of my Hollyhock seeds as well.

I made envelopes with pictures of my Sunflowers and Hollyhocks, into seed packets and made labels for planting instructions. If anyone is interested in having some please leave me a comment and I will be happy to send some your way.

My favorite flowers are, of course, Sunflowers and Hollyhocks, but also will be planting Delphiniums, Foxglove, Sweet Peas and Nasturtium. It is so hard to choose because there are so many that I like. I keep reminding myself to start small, learn slowly and carefully, before moving on. Master one thing at a time and be good at it.

The next accomplishment:  THE VERY FIRST APRON   (size 18 months)

Yes, even babies need an apron.

This one is very special and belongs to my grand baby Laci. Especially since her mommy was primarily the sewer for this project. We had lots of fun, and I had lovely company all weekend. We have 3 more that are the same design, with slightly different fabric. I will post pictures of them when they are completed. Now I have to work on my adult ones. I may make a dozen, or a hundred, and keep them safe until their debut.

I have the honor to know a local artist,  Mary Lake Thompson, whom I shared my ideas with. Mary was enthusiastic and excited about my "new" adventure and offered her kindness and support. She said to me "If you believe and love what you are doing, then you will be a success". My daughters have worked for Mary and her husband, Dick, for almost 10 years.

I will keep believing...
The Girasole Lady

A sign

Today I designed a sign for the farm...GIRASOLE FARM
Aprons to Zucchini

They are interchangable according to the season, or whatever I happen to have at the time. The bottom one is hard to read but it says "family &  friends".

The Girasole Lady

Todays'

This yesterday has just become today. I have made peace with a couple of dreams I have had and decided  to just let them happen. Everyday I am going to do something for the dream, to allow it to happen in my life, no matter how small the task my seem.
For today I have a name for the dream. Naming the dream gives it life and reality.

GIRASOLE FARM

aprons to zucchini

Looking forward to another today.

The Girasole lady

Unsettled

I am feeling unsettled. I see an glimpse of where, and what, I want to be doing with my life. I just cannot seem to find the bridge to make the crossing. Doing what I want is not necessarily clear in my mind, but doing what I do NOT want is becoming clearer and clearer. Is it possible to move on without question, without judgement, without anger? Could I gain respect and admiration for my personal decision, and not fear anger, judgement and belittlement? If the bridge were wobbly, could I find the strength to steady it? If it were full of holes, could I patch them enough to cross over to the other side?  Would I look back from the other side and feel contentment?
The seasons are changing. Though I have chosen to ignore it, I can see and feel the evidence daily. It is not like me to ignore the changes of the seasons. I am struggling to balance my dreams with my responsibilities. I have never "mastered" any one thing. I am always "jack of all trades and master of none". I want to be a master of something.
I have thought and re-thought about so many different things, I am literally sick of thinking about them.
Is thinking nothing more than an excuse because I am too chicken to see any one thing through to the end? There are others who have achieved much larger dreams than I, with so much less. Am I too comfortable in my ordinary routine?  
I don't really know how to make the dream happen. What if I were to get off the ground, could I really fly? 
Maybe I have lived in ordinary land too long. There are those people who do not want me to leave them behind in ordinary land. They would be angry at my choices and toss stones at my feet.
I have wished away a thousand tomorrows...always believing I had an endless supply of days, weeks, months, and years. In years down the road will I look back and see that I have only wished away hundreds of more tomorrows?
Change can happen even if it drags me kicking and screaming.
The Girasole Lady

Hollyhocks for Happy Hearts

This is the poem I chose for my new home when it was built in 1998. I love my home in the country. I am still working on the lilacs :}

A rosy hearth with sunlight on the floor...

A crooked apple treee...Hollyhocks beside the garden fence...

Why is it I have these days when I feel like I do "nothing". I am always feeling like I did nothing. Really now...Today :  I shopped for fruit trees this morning at a local nursery.  bought 14 trees--Apple, plum, nectarine, cherry, mandarin, grapefruit/orange, pear and pomegranate. Went to the grocery store. I had a visit with Beth and Tonya. Had Grammy time with Laci. Took my mom and aunts dinner and had a visit with them too. Put lights up on the front porch. Fed horses and cleaned out water troughs. Cleaned the kitchen-once.

I did NOT: make my bed, do any laundry, dusting or vacuuming. I did NOT mop or sweep. I did NOT scrub the bathrooms.

Still I wanted to: Pull weeds in the garden. Recover a old stool. Sew a dozen aprons. Make living room curtains. Decorate for fall. Organize photos (a never ending thing to do). Cook more, read more, write more, visit more...

Are my expectations just too much? Will I ever feel like I do enough?

I have anxiety about going to work on Monday. I like my job, I just don't want one anymore. I already have a job, right here, it's called "my life". Why in the world do I need another one. Oh yeah... it's that money thing- right?

Tonight time falls back 1 hour...maybe there is still time.

Better hurry!

Oh yeah..the rose pix has nothing to do with this post. I was sorting through pictures and just liked it. See...there I go again getting side tracked.

Wishing for more time and ambition.

The Girasole Lady

p.s. where is spell check in this new blogger format???

Flowers for my Girls

Many times I have been asked "Do you love your daughters all the same."

It has taken me a life time to understand that question in relationship to my now adult daughters. The answer is NO. To love them all exactly the same would be a terrible injustice to their individuality. They are not the same. I have chosen flowers that most represent each of my beautiful and unique daughters.

SUNFLOWER
Kristina...she is a sunflower...
She has a heart as big as the sun. She is always bursting out with life. Her petals are bright and her stalk is strong and sturdy. She follows the sun, letting it shine on her life. She stands tall and reaches for the sky. Her leaves are big and makes you want to grab hold and run with her. She attracts the bees, they collect her sweetness to make the golden honey.

PEONEY

Beth... she is a Peoney...
Do you see how intricate and soft her petals are. They are so tightly wrapped together. Holding precious life in the intricate folds, bursting with sweetness. Her smell is lovely. Her petals so soft. You just want to scoop her up and squeeze her with love. You just cannot get enough.

ROSE

Tonya...she is a Rose...

Not the traditional tightly wrapped single rose. A loose rambling rose. Her beauty is open and shared with all the world. She understands the elements of mother nature and keeps her petals just open enough to reveal her beauty, both inside and out. Her petals are like velvet. She reminds us "Do the Roses have thorns, or do the thorns have Roses?" No matter...she is always the rose.

My love for them is uniquely individual, but all the love comes from the same heart.

The Girasole Lady

Bouchon

On my recent trip to Las Vegas I was treated as "Queen of France" for one evening at the Bouchon in the Venetian. It started with this.....

LEMON DROP-yum!


DIVINE

EXQUISITE

DREAMY

LUSCIOUS

TANTALIZING

SCRUMPTIOUS

INDULGENT

"I am not a glutton-I am an explorer of food" - Erma Bombeck

DECADENT

Never again will the sweetness of dessert cross over my lips, brushing smooth against my palate, without thinking of this evening of pure indulgence. Thank you Chris Herrin for a fabulous evening of the most delectable desserts ever.

The Girasole Lady

Leaving for Las Vegas

On Thursday I am leaving for Las Vegas. This is our annual "staff get away". I will be back home Sunday evening.

I am not the kind of person who likes to leave home, unless absolutely necessary. This causes incredible anxiety. If I never left home again it would be too soon. There is nothing that cannot be delivered right to my own front door.

In preparation for this upcoming event I went to Walgreens last night with Beth and bought several small travel items, shampoo, toothpaste, lotion, soap etc.. I was hoping that would get me in the mood for travel. NO!

Then I went to Raley's and got some goodies to soothe me on the way, Jolly Ranchers, Apple Jacks and Life Savers. I was hoping that would get me in the mood for travel. NO!

Then I went to the Pharmacy for medication, to ease the edge off, to get me through this trip. I was hoping that would get me in the mood for travel. OK - well maybe.

I am very appreciative about the generous gift of a trip, completely planned by my most generous friend (1st), boss (2nd). Whitney is amazing at planning all sorts of things. As a matter of fact if it weren't for her I would have been absolutely no where, not even on an airplane. For that I am eternally grateful and appreciative. She has been wonderful to me, and I always end up having a good time. That is once I get out my own front door.

I am just not like most people. I don't like getting dressed up for special events, I am nervous about sharing space with people outside of my family. I don't possess the budget or fashion sense equal to my travel mates. Honestly my favorite place to be is at home. My home expects nothing of me. It doesn't care if I am happy or sad, always has a comfortable place to rest, and really doesn't care about what I am wearing. It cares only that I am in it, and that I give it a life, my life.

Everything I need is right here at home.

SEE.

Tired...

Today I am tired.

I am tired because- I started the morning at 5:15am out at the horse barn separating horses that sometime in the wee hours of the morning decided to have a sleep over and share a stall. Tell me, how in the world can 2 horses learn to remove the pins on the fence panels and open it like a gate!

I am tired because- I got to work 7 minutes late, thanks to the horses. No time to make a lunch.

I am tired because- I went with my mom this morning to her consult with the plastic surgeon for breast reconstruction following her mastectomy.

I am tired because- I got a frantic telephone call from Kristina because someone turned in front of her and it totaled her car. She is fine.

I am tired because I did not take a lunch break at work because I spent my break in the doctors office with my mom. I ate lunch at my desk cheese + apples and a chocolate milk.

I am tired because- I had to work at my desk all day and stare at a computer. Numbers...it's all about numbers. Numbers telling insurance companies what services were rendered to a patient. Numbers describing what their diagnosis were. Numbers in the amount of allowed payables. Communicating with insurance companies is all in numbers. Go ahead call this toll free number, press 1 if you are the subscriber, press 2 if you are a physician, press 3 if you want benefits and eligibility, press 4 if you have a question about claims status, press 5 if you need preauthorization, press 6 if you want to shoot yourself before this call is over. DO NOT press zero, this is an invalid selection. Press the star key to go back to the main menu. on and on and on and on...

I am tired....really tired- I could not stay awake at my desk. All I wanted to do was close my eyes, just until I felt rested.

I am tired because-I didn't get home until late after work. All I could do was sit on the back porch and look at the garden, it needed watering, there are weeds that need to be pulled too. There are dishes in the sink. Laundry on the bedroom floor and all over the laundry room floor too. There is stuff all over the kitchen table. There are spider webs on the walls, dirt on the floor. Just stuff...stuff everywhere.

I am tired because-there is not a single part of my body that does not hurt tonight.

I am tired because-I do not feel human. How can I possibly be this tired.

I am tired because-I am tired and tired of being tired.

I am tired and I am going to bed.

Lady Bug Clogs

The Pioneer Woman had a contest in which she was giving away a pair of Lucchese Boots. I wished her luck. Good thing I did not win. What in the world would I ever do with a pair of boots like that anyway. Seriously! Caveman, I bet, wouldn't even let me off the front porch with them on my feet, let alone anywhere even remotely close to town!

On one of my rare occasions the other day to town, I went to the local Tractor Supply store. Hopefully, you are familiar with 10 random facts about me. I did not intend to go to Tractor Supply especially for these gardening clogs, it just so happens the several cats I own were out of cat food. Paws & Claws, now how's that for a cat food name. Pretty fitting huh? So seeing that I did not win the Lucchese boots I settled for Lady Bug Clogs, which happens to suit be better anyway. Caveman would still protest if I tried to wear these into town,but I am pretty sure I could sneak it by him.

Has anyone ever checked out the Pioneer Woman website? How on this earth can ONE woman singlehandly post at least a half dozen times a day, write a romantic love story about her and her husband, just published a cookbook, has a tasty kitchen website, does amazing photography, home school 4 children, live on a working cattle ranch, host tons of company at a "Lodge" on the ranch, have numerous contests, and still be a mom and homemaker. SERIOUSLY!!! She must have taken all the time and money in the world. Might be why I have none.

So you think she is real????? I'll hope not, just to save me from jumping off a cliff.

Go ahead I dare you to click on the above link to her website.

The Girasole Lady

There is an old Italian saying,

"A tavola non s'invecchia"
















At the table one never grows old

The Girasole Lady

HARVEST MOON

I hope everyone had the opportunity to see the harvest moon last night.
If not I'll share......






The Harvest Moon is the full Moon that occurs closest to the autumnal equinox. It can occur in either September or October. At this time, crops such as corn, pumpkins, squash, and wild rice are ready for gathering.

The Girasole Lady

Hold hands and cherish the moment

Could there be anything sweeter?

She's Beautiful

Laci Michelle Edwards

August 18, 2009 (2:15pm)

7 lbs 3oz

19 inches

Portrait of Three Children

Rembrandt Peale

1808

It must be my interest in photography that has lead to a recent interest in art. I am also a self indulger of all things unknown to me.

OK - so one might wonder how I came across this. I just received the recent Martha Stewart Living September issue (yeah I know!). At the beginning of the issue there was a article in the section "My Home to Yours" featuring Guy Wolff Pottery. Mentioned in that article was early American painting "Rubens Peale With a Geranuim" painted by Rembrandt Peale.
Being the Internet junkie that I am, I had to see this Geranium picture. This lead to further investigation, hence the "Portrait of Three Children". The Peale Family was an amazing talented family.
Guy Wolff Pottery is GREAT too, check it out.
May we never stop thirsting for knowledge.
The Girasole Lady

Just for Today

I wanted to be here by the sea...
to feel the warmth of the sun
the breeze run its' fingers through my hair
taste the salt in the misty air
to hear music of crashing waves and sea gulls
the water to massage my feet
and sand to play with my toes.

I wanted to fill my being with all of mother earth.

I needed her to hold me and rock me until I felt safe comfort.

I wanted to shed the heaviness of adulthood.

I wanted to be a child again.

I needed to feel the endless times of summers past.

I wanted to remember what it feels like to not worry.

I wanted my life to rest until I felt ready to join in again.

Just for Today...

The Girasole Lady

Girasole Lady

I have failed to keep my last commitment to post on a once a week basis.

I have a serious garden/photography addiction. I just can't seem to find the discipline to sit at my desk.

I will assume a new identity... Girasole Lady

Girasole in Italian is sunflower. If you have seen my gardens you would understand. So here......

is a sunflower picture taken with the Nikon.

Love

The Girasole Lady

Thursdays...

I am committing to make at least one post a week on my blog space. I will choose one picture.

I took this picture of a hibiscus in Roatan 4/2007. I LOVED THAT VACATION and for sure the most amazing.

To help with inspiration I came across these questions (via Internet) that will help. Especially when I feel like I have nothing to blog about. In reality we all have something good to share and tell, in each and every day.

Outside my window... I see a field, birds, my garden and the horses.

I am thinking... How good it feels to be home today and had a relaxing,wonderful visit with all of my daughters, and my mom.

I am thankful for... family.

From the kitchen... It needs groceries. It is clean (at least for the moment).

I am wearing... Blue carpi's, white t-shirt, barefooted.

I am creating... ??? a blog post.

I am going... hopefully nowhere.

I am hearing... Reba McIntyre on Pandora Internet radio.

Around the house... Cluttered at the moment, which I should be working on. But I am sure it will be there later.

One of my favorite things... Shooting stars make me feel an incredible magical feeling.

A few plans for the rest of the week... work half day tomorrow.Get grocery shopping done. Visit with my family. Go to a birthday party on Saturday evening. Work in the gardens.

Fifty is Nifty

I removed the 50th birthday counter from my blog, that day came and went. This is me the day I turned 50 (I cannot believe I actually am going to post a picture of myself)
I did not post a single post in the month of June. Why.....

well I really don't know.

When I finally manage to be in the house I usually fall into a coma of exhaustion.

The vegetables and flowers outside just keep nagging at me to be with them, it's a trick to get me to pull all the weeds.

The garden is growing. The sun is shining. SUMMER is here.

Tonya & I took a trip to the Bay Area for Brandon's 8th grade graduation party. We had a fabulous visit with my brother and sister's families.

Jen and family came up for a 3 day weekend the end of June.

My birthday was GREAT!!!

My computer broke and I now have a new awesome one with Windows Vista. Thanks to MOZY home back up, I did NOT loose a single picture. I recommend it to anyone who values the information they store on a computer.

I also got a really, really, really nice photosmart printer.

Caveman is building a cave (aka shop).

I am counting the days to be a GRAMMY!!!

Life is good, really good...

Fifty is Nifty.