Unsettled

I am feeling unsettled. I see an glimpse of where, and what, I want to be doing with my life. I just cannot seem to find the bridge to make the crossing. Doing what I want is not necessarily clear in my mind, but doing what I do NOT want is becoming clearer and clearer. Is it possible to move on without question, without judgement, without anger? Could I gain respect and admiration for my personal decision, and not fear anger, judgement and belittlement? If the bridge were wobbly, could I find the strength to steady it? If it were full of holes, could I patch them enough to cross over to the other side?  Would I look back from the other side and feel contentment?
The seasons are changing. Though I have chosen to ignore it, I can see and feel the evidence daily. It is not like me to ignore the changes of the seasons. I am struggling to balance my dreams with my responsibilities. I have never "mastered" any one thing. I am always "jack of all trades and master of none". I want to be a master of something.
I have thought and re-thought about so many different things, I am literally sick of thinking about them.
Is thinking nothing more than an excuse because I am too chicken to see any one thing through to the end? There are others who have achieved much larger dreams than I, with so much less. Am I too comfortable in my ordinary routine?  
I don't really know how to make the dream happen. What if I were to get off the ground, could I really fly? 
Maybe I have lived in ordinary land too long. There are those people who do not want me to leave them behind in ordinary land. They would be angry at my choices and toss stones at my feet.
I have wished away a thousand tomorrows...always believing I had an endless supply of days, weeks, months, and years. In years down the road will I look back and see that I have only wished away hundreds of more tomorrows?
Change can happen even if it drags me kicking and screaming.
The Girasole Lady