The Bassinet

The bassinet in the picture has a long history. It is 74 years old.

It was my fathers first cradle as a new born baby in 1935. My fathers brother also was cradled in that same bed. This bassinet cradled my brother in 1957, myself in 1959, my sister in 1974. It cradled my precious babies too. Tonya in 1979, Kristina in 1981 and Beth in 1986. This summer it will cradled my first grandbaby. Four generations of family will have shared this same bassinet. I think of the mommys past and those still to come.

Sometimes it seems like just yesterday that I laid my newborn babies down in it. I can remember so clearly the way it felt to come home from the hospital, so surreal, leaning over and setting them down for the first time. I couldn't help just staring at how precious they were. I was scared. Scared that I didn't know what to do or how to be a good mother. I felt that my heart would just burst, because it was so full of love. I remember the feeling of amazing softness of baby skin, the smell, their breathing, the incredible innocence of babyness...The purest realization of a miracle. I couldn't help just staring at them sleeping. I was sure if I went to sleep I would wake up and it would all be a dream. I was so young. I just turned 20 right before I had Tonya.

I can hardly believe Tonya is having her first baby. I see her and watch her. She is so beautiful. In her I see myself too. She is becoming a mother. "Wait" I yell, "I am the mother". How can this be? I imagine she will be feeling the uncertainty of becoming a mother herself, as I too felt so many years ago. That familiar feeling in the back of my mind now whispering-how will I be a good grammy, while still being a mother too? What do I do?

It's a reminder of the circle of life. Shifting roles within family, the passing of the torch. My mom- a great Gramma, me a Grammy, Tonya a momma. Kristina and Beth becoming aunts. My brother and sister becoming great aunts and uncles.

Tonya and Ryan will make a wonderful loving mommy and daddy. They might not know that yet, but I know.

remember... mommy's know everything :) grammys too.